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Dan@HiddenSolution.com
Hellinger's event at Fordham University drew more than 100 attendees. We have received considerable feeback. Here are a few samples:
Comment
I am confused. The gentleman with whom I spoke said that it all was unrehearsed.
He also said that in a therapeutic situation, the client would be sitting , just observing.
I do not "get" it. I do not understand the therapeutic method;
is it effective only with those who have had such horrendous traumas as the Holocaust?
I tried to imagine myself in such an approach, and couldn't;
while I have certainly experienced injustice, none of it was so serious that the memory of it is "eating" me now.
What am I not grasping?
I thought Hellinger's opening remarks were very insightful and wise.
I've not thought of the problem of violence in terms of both sides having a "good conscience",
and I think this is a profoundly wise insight.
Response
Hellinger's work is not easy to "get," even for those who have seen him work numerous times. Since there were no clients
who sought to work on their personal issues regarding ethnic conflict, we did not actually see an example of how this work
is done in a therapeutic setting. The two demonstrations were generic, not specific to any indiviudal. However, had he worked
in this manner, the results may have been equally opaque to many.
Over time, as one experiences the information field that forms within a group of representatives and sees
the transgenerational effects of conscience, Hellinger's observations tend to become more apparent like objects in a darkened
room that become visible as the eyes adjust to the available light. Hellinger is not preaching a doctrine nor leading a movement.
Whatever you "got" can be further expaned and understood by sitting silently in the healing circle and allowing whatever is
present to emerge. DBC
Comment
It was a profoundly moving experience – one this is hard to put into words but I will try.
The night left us emotionally drained but full of hope and love – and of course, we had hundreds of
questions running through our heads the moment the event ended.
Personally I felt the type of love and sadness towards Mr. Hellinger that one feels when a grandparent has passed away.
I had a strong connection with him. I don’t know why I had the emotion of sadness,
but I guess I felt that his time on this earth is fleeting quickly.
This was the first time that I had met him or even became versed in his philosophy,
yet I felt that I had known him my whole life. His words resonated within me.
I felt that a part of me had been opened inside – a part that was already there but has not yet been unlocked.
Something that I had not yet fully understood. But now I understand.
He has planted the seeds of peace in those who hear his words and are willing to understand the deeper meaning.
It is these seeds that need to continue to grow and be transplanted throughout the world. But where to begin?
And how to accomplish such an immense task?
Mr. Hellinger said that on the global level the leaders of these great countries will never try to be in
tune because they fear losing power. But how can we distribute those seeds of peace and nurture them?
I believe we need to start small. The cycle of hate needs to end.
For each person that can see past the hate and into the eyes and soul of their “enemy” –
isn’t it possible that they in turn can help someone else see past the hate? Or if not turn someone’s views,
couldn’t they at least teach their children or grandchildren about peace?
Comment
Bert's work with using representatives "channeling" ancestors is incredibly deep and seems to be very moving.
There appears to be great energy shifts in clients, as well as the audiance watching,
but I wonder about the lasting effects.
Although I was very impressed with his presentation,
I think there still has to be a lot more done before peoples of different cultural,
religious and ethnic backgrounds can really negotiate peacefully. This is where communication comes in.
We have to work on how to communicate in ways where we're non-judgmental, non-critical, merciful, honest,
and come from truth; the source. Most people don't know how to do this, and in particular politicians.
To affect peace within our world as well as in future generations,
I think we need Bert's work along with very practical steps of communication and relationship techniques
to facilitate change.
Comment
My response to the presentation was mixed. It was wonderful to be in the presence of this lovely
man with so much light in his eyes at the age of 80.
I found the experiential part interesting and moving, though I missed hearing how these ideas have
been applied in actual reconciliation settings.
If you have used Hellinger's work in your own peacemaking efforts or know how he does it,
I would very much like to hear how this has been done and how it has worked out.
Response
There are thousands of practitioners worldwide who have adapted the Hellinger's methods to their own work.
There is no umbrella organization, and virtually all of them integrate constellation work with other diverse modalities.
Therefore, it is difficult to track how the work is being used and what results are being achieved.
I am aware of several internationally recognized experts who apply Hellinger's observations in their own work.
As for my own efforts, I have been working for more than 20 years within the US Jewish community
to improve relations between Jews, Germans and Palestinians. I can report that my efforts have not blossomed.
Yet, here I am continuing them.
Comment
I found it an extremely powerful illumination. I found Bert Hellinger to be very clear,
insightful and truthful and his methods really powerful. I am hoping to continue to integrate some of what
I saw along with some other dramatic methods that I have been perusing for self insight, spiritual depth and challenge.
I, however, think that reconciliation in such a manner changes lives for a moment,
but like a drug addict going back to the culture in which he or she became addicted . . .
I'm curious about systemic ways in which the violence is developed. . . . .
And if systems are not part of the reconciliation then those systems which have built such awful pain will
again build the same because they don't know any other way to be built.
For simplicity, an illustration. I think of an abusive relationship between a husband and a wife.
My assumption is that if they did this exercise, the woman who has been abused would characteristically want
desperately to reconcile, hoping against hope that thsi would change the situation and that she would not be abused
anymore and the man, in the moment, hoping against hope would probably be somewhat contrite . . .
however, unless significant steps are taken to change behavior through behavioral changes mandated by agreements
within the relationship and efforts to equalize power inequities and its pervasive nature throughout this relationship,
probably reinforced by history it won't change. It would just be part of the "cycle of violence".
I do believe that the first step to any change is to look another in the eyes and it is not new but
brilliantly stated by Mr. Hellinger that the root of all conflict is the good conscience.
Jesus said that the root of all conflict is self righteousness . .
But I'm thinking that skills need to be taught to deal with all the feelings, the drift towards judgments,
the drift towards fear, the drift towards self righteousness, the drift towards arrogance.
That is, I suppose, why I'm invested in community work through my work in a local church setting . . . .
In the meantime, in the absence of enough teachers of love and those who can embrace such process as
Mr. Hellinger revealed, where one waits long enough for the force of love to come forth, . .. . . . .
perhaps the "law" needs to be put down to protect humankind from its fear of everything and
everyone and especially feeling, itself.
Response
The Constellation is generally not used as a stand-alone method.
It is not a substitue or alternative to other treatments or therapuetic interventions. There is a growing
body of case history evidence that shows that clients who participate in a constellation process and then
continue with their treatment plans experience dramatic improvements.
Comment
I found it very moving. I think the affective part was because all of us have experienced
loss at many levels and even among the peace lovers there is often a lot of unresolved anger because of past hurts.
Hellinger’s work was new to me. He was working on a very deep level and it seemed to me that people had to make
of it what they would. It was a bit like Christ’s ‘he that hath ears to hear let him hear.’
I found myself wondering if he is a Jungian and whether he draws from Jung’s idea of the collective unconscious?
Judging by some of the questions afterwards I feel some people may have struggled to enter into what was happening.
We seem to always want verbal explanations, to try to rationalise and make things fit our existing frames of reference.
Comment
I found the presentation both informative and challenging.
I very much appreciated Hellinger's profound insight that the root of ethnic conflict is a "good conscience"
and his emphasis on universal love and forgiveness as the ultimate solution.
Not being a clinician, I found the silent exercises to be frankly perplexing, although clearly moving
(both literally and emotionally) to the participants.
It reminded me of acting exercises which made me question the relevance of the experience to the actual
dynamics of ethnic conflict in a given society.
While I agree that forgiveness and penance is the primary means to peace and reconciliation within and
among individuals, I felt that Hellinger did not sufficiently stress the importance of social and judicial
justice as the primary means of achieving reconciliation within society.
I recall that he dismissed justice as the "great illusion" which may be true in terms of actual
justice rendered for the millions who suffered from atrocity crimes,
but the attempt of judiciual justice cannot be so lightly dismissed.
There is as profound reciprocity between society and the individual that cannot be ignored.
I would argue that achieving a just society has a profound impact upon the well-being of the individual.
My approach to the subject of ethnic conflict and trauma is primarily legal,
political and moral, and not so much based upon direct personal experience.
I am keenly aware of the gulf of experience between myself and those who have been directly
impacted by ethnic conflict whether as victims or as perpetrators.
Thus, I admire the work of those such as yourself who deal directly with the emotional healing of
both victims and perpetrators.
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